The Phoenix Awakens!

2009-11-04T22:40:00.000-08:00

If you are still living, it's because you have not yet arrived at the place you should be

2009-10-22T01:39:00.001-07:00

Words have no power other than that which you give them

Peace of mind

2009-10-21T23:33:00.000-07:00

This is a story from Buddha's life.

Once Buddha was walking from one town to another town with a few of his followers. Thiswas in the initial days. While they were traveling, they happened to pass a lake. They stopped there and Buddha told one of his disciples, I am thirsty. Do get me some water from that lake there.

The disciple walked up to the lake. When he reached it, he noticed that some people were washing clothes in the water, and right at that moment, a bullock cart started crossing through the lake. As a result, the water became very muddy, very turbid. The disciple thought, How can I give this muddy water to Buddha to drink! So he came back and told Buddha, The water in there is very muddy. I don't think it is fit to drink. After about half an hour, again Buddha asked the same disciple to go back to the lake and get him some water to drink. The disciple obediently went back to the lake. This time he found that the lake had absolutely clear water in it. The mud had settled down and the water above it looked fit to be had. So he collected some water in a pot and brought it to Buddha. Buddha looked at the water, and then he looked up at the disciple and said, See what you did to make the water clean. You let it be. and the mud settled down on its own and you got clear water. Your mind is also like that! When it is disturbed, just let it be. Give it a little time. It will settle
down on its own. You don't have to put in any effort to calm it down. It will happen. It is effortless.

He said, Having Peace of Mind is not a strenuous job; it is an effortless process! When there is peace inside you, that peace permeates to the outside. It spreads around you and in the environment, such that people around start feeling that peace and grace.

2009-10-21T23:25:00.001-07:00

i wonder..will god forgive us for what we've done to each other but then i realized that god left this place a long time ago -Blood Diamonds

2009-07-09T23:50:00.001-07:00

How much do we think we know ourselves and how much do we actually know??As much as I think I know about myself, there are some things about myself I fail to understand. I have this annoying habit of trying to analyze things which only adds to the trouble like now. I am feeling a particular way……I don’t know why…and I am trying and trying to make some sense of the whole thing and so this blog. Have you noticed there are times when so many plans come up and you don’t know which one to go ahead with…and you secretly wish that u could just not do any of those things and just go off on your own. But if you do that you land up carrying the baggage of guilt which plagues you all the time. People say that one is being arrogant or acting like a snob but why don’t they understand that I probably need more space. I enjoy the company of friends and all but just wish that people’s expectations were better left to themselves…..why force your expectation on someone else. Ive dealt with my expectations being unfulfilled why cant they???

2009-07-07T21:53:00.000-07:00

Every battle is not meant to be fought and every point is not meant to be proven. Some things in life are just meant to be... how they are!!

2009-03-18T23:30:00.000-07:00

I am a puppet in my own life
Some strings Ive given up myself,
Some have never been in my control ,
And some I never knew even existed until they were yanked!

2009-03-17T04:13:00.001-07:00

2009-03-17T04:11:00.000-07:00

2009-02-03T22:37:00.000-08:00

I could see only sadness in people's eyes...
probably it was just a reflection of my own

The Road Not Taken

2009-01-22T20:34:00.000-08:00

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

----Robert Frost

This is Why....

2009-01-02T01:23:00.000-08:00

Ive always wondered…why are we here??? It sounds like a very staid question …like something that is spoken about in shallow conversations with unknown people to make one sound cool in social do s.
As patent as it may sound…this is something that has always intrigued the human mind which seeks to question everything. You never see a leopard trying to analyze why the moon is full or why it isn’t there…it just uses the moon light or the lack of it to hunt. But humans have understood the moon (or tried to), why it waxes, why it wanes, shroud it in a veil of mystery, made it god and have even touched it’s scarred surface!
Me, being a classical example of a human, also have a perennial question mark in my head. Millions of questions run through my head…some pursued till they are answered, some buried under a pile of “must be because….”, or some just left to be answered on a later date. Similarly, ‘Why are we here’ was a question which I had kept in the “must be because….” category where the because kept changing.
I would wonder, what was the purpose of life anyways……if we are going to die…why do we want so desperately to have a part of us to survive, a desperation which drives us so single mindedly to reproduce????? We are born, we die and in that process, go through our own strife something which none of us is spared from. We lose love, we find love, we have hope and then give up on it completely. Each one of us goes through the same thing which is ironically uniquely different for each one of us. Then why…what is it that we gain, what is it that drives us to make our children go through the same thing???
Well, I guess it’s about the experience. It’s what we feel throughout it all that makes us want to live on…wanting to feel and to share what we feel with those closest to us, to share wonder and amazement which intertwines our life, where every moment feels so powerful like the moment when a man and women, together feel the kick of their unborn child for the first time and stare at each other, with wonder in their eyes and whisper”did u feel that!!”
Al through our life, we are immersed in sensations, where we experience a myriad of feelings, each leaving a mark on us and carving out of the shapeless form of our mind, a beautiful sculpture of our soul.
I have, in my life, experienced some of the most indescribable feelings…some so intense…that they have made me scream , and some so intense….that they left me stunned!! The joy of birth where I celebrated every moment, the sorrow of death which I could do nothing about. The helplessness when I could do something but didn’t, the strength in moments when I couldn’t do anything and didn’t even try. The flutter of dreams in my tummy just waiting to fly out and the comfort of having my dreams come true. The warmth of the tears someone has cried for me, the coldness of the love some people have felt for me, the darkness of the sunny day and the light at the end of the darkest days. The reassurance in a child’s smile, the complete hopelessness of a man’s promise, the jabbing pain of someone’s words, the soothing balm of someone’s tears.
Ive never felt life more strongly than what I felt this weekend. I was staring at a mountain bathed in the light of the setting sun, the wind was running it’s fingers through my hair, my soul was comfortably resting in my arms and I was inhaling his essence with every breath when at that very instant I felt a deep satisfaction in my soul and a thought just flashed through my mind …this is why….this is why god wants me to live, so that I can experience the pure joy life has in store for me in moments such as these..

Nature's Child

2008-12-19T21:47:00.000-08:00

The earth is her mother,
She’s the sister of the trees.
The mountains are her guardian,
She sets nature free.

She’s the dancing of the wind,
The ballet of the leaves.
She’s the shout of thunder,
The silence of the breeze.

She plays silently on the sand,
Making little waves on the vast land.
The sea mistakes her silence for subtleness
But subtle…Not She!
She’s not like a daffodil, soft and sweet,
But more like an exotic orchid with vibrant heat!

The wave thrashes, ruining her creation,
Thinking that it is only for recreation.

Around she turns fiery eyed,
Not believing that all she has created has died.

At first, there is no movement in her form,
Then.. the earth trembles, a tempest is born.

She lashes at the sea,
Flings the water in the air,
And there in the heavens she makes appear,
Hades, Orion and the great bear.

A cool breeze blows and calms her down,
And all her anger is reduced to a frown.
The sun warms her face with its honey yellow heat,
The waves ask for forgiveness by lapping at her feet.

A dimple appears on her cheek,
Her face breaks into a smile.
She bounds away from all who seek,
She is nature’s child.
------2002

2008-12-19T21:43:00.000-08:00

Far in the horizon the deep blue sea,

Is beckoning and calling me.

Promising, like the future to come,

To be clear, calm and problem free.

But how can I know, how can I tell?

Whether this future is meant to be,

Whether the future actually holds all that it promises to be.

Is it a mirage on the beach?

Disappearing as soon as I reach?

Does it exist? Is it true?

Or is it just a paradise of a fool?

Should I hold on to it?

Should I believe it?

Or should I just forget it and leave it?

I would definitely want to e in that,

If it is what it seems to be.

It can be true, it can be possible,

Just as that clear and muddy water were miscible.

But can 2 such different stages of life so beautifully match?

Or does there always have to be a catch?

Presume that im in it,

Presume that im there…

Will I be happy in it ?

Or will I get a scare?

Give me a hint, give me a sign

My Angel, when I get a choice,

Please help me make up my mind

--- 17^th October 2002

2008-12-19T21:39:00.000-08:00

A noose hangs around my neck,

Tightening with every breath.

Thrusting upon me a pain to bear,

Filling me with nothing but despair.

My heart is bursting and there is an aching pain

And I wonder…from this, what will I ever gain?

Standing up there alone, proud and tall

When Id rather in someone’s arms fall.

My hands are searching frantically

I strain to grasp her

She stands stoically, not lifting a finger.

Other’s strain and reach out trying to help me,

Doesn’t she know that she is the closest one who can set me free?

Then someone’s hand I try to clutch,

But then, with a mere whisper of her breath, she breaks the touch.

Im left there hanging on the noose,

Unable to accept help of those who choose,

Those who could help me make it a little loose.

I never wanted all or none,

I was willing to accept whatever little could be done.

Why she thinks I deserve it I will never know

When she only got me into this world to show.

Not liking the results that came,

She put the noose around me and made it my shame.

Now she stands there watching, As time goes by.

As I lose a breath with every sigh.

I cough, I sputter, I try to breathe.

The blissfully I think that the day has come,

When all I will wear around my neck will be a wreath.

-----2002

2008-12-19T03:55:00.001-08:00

The best way to understand someone is to fight him, make him angry. That's when you see the real person.

The Man Who Thinks He Can

2008-12-18T21:56:00.000-08:00

If you think you are beaten, you are;
If you think you dare not, you don't.
If you'd like to win, but think you can't
It's almost a cinch you won't.

If you think you'll lose, you've lost.
For out in the world we find
Success begins with a fellow's will:
It's all in his state of mind.

If you think you're outclassed, you are:
You've got to think high to rise,
You've got to be sure of yourself before
You'll ever win that prize.

Life's battles don't always go
To the stronger or faster man,
But sooner or later the man who wins
Is the one who thinks he can.

- Napoleon Hill circa 1973

2008-10-16T03:41:00.000-07:00

The world is cruel, and the only morality in a cruel world is chance.Unbiased..Unprejudiced..Fair..!!
-Joker

To get something you never had, you have to do something you never did

The Road Less Taken

2008-09-30T01:56:00.000-07:00

Suddenly in the middle of the day or at the busiest moment at work …a thought often flashes through my head…am I LIVING my life??

Living for different people mean different things,… for us it means learning new things, doing new things and doing all those things that add to the experiences in life…in short…TRAVELLING……going down the road less taken…..

Lately, it was creeping into most of our conversations…the fear of not living life the way we wanted, the fear of becoming a corporate junkie who at any phase of life would have nothing significant to talk about in terms of experiences, memories but just endless cups of coffee drunk to satisfy sum faceless client for sum “urgent” requirement pretending that it was more urgent than even the most important thing for us…our LIFE!!

In a desperate urgency to live our life we decided to go to Talegaon, …. but like a play with a pre-decided story we helplessly watched the plan go the way we didn’t want to.

Little did we know that this would turn out to be one of the most memorable weekends weve ever spent.

On Wednesday, when we saw the plan was falling apart, we decided to go to Murud

The moment the idea was kindled, it spread uncontrollably and manifested into a raging fire consuming us completely. As surely as we felt that Talegaon would fail, with the same surety we knew that Murud would command a prominent place in the memories of our life (no more prominent though than the moments yet to come)

And so we went, unprepared for what truly awaited us……

I couldn’t have asked for anything better…from the beautiful sunrise over the sea to the cool crisp sea breeze. They were omens of a beautiful time still to come, of dreams turning into reality. The drive from Rewas to Murud was amazing…driving along the beautiful sea, the wind in our hair, the sun kissing our faces…..

Murud was exactly what we wanted it to be…beautiful, pristine and ours…all ours

There was laughter, there was silence, there was pleasure, no pain…there was silence of the waves, there was the music of the sand…….there was peace and deep satisfaction of the soul.

I felt so secure, so happy….the feeling of uninhibited joy vibrated through every part of my being making me complete and filling every hole of melancholy

The day passed not like a dream but like reality…the reality I was living every moment of….

We awoke to a beautiful morning…..…basking in its beauty even before we looked outside

We planned the day over a leisurely cup of coffee, not rushing not hurrying…experiencing for once what it felt like to have time at our mercy

We traveled by a sailboat to a beautiful fortress which stood in the middle of the sea, holding within it souls of people who called it home, burying with its broken walls their love, their deceit, their lives, their secrets forever.

We started our journey back home with the same euphoric high that enveloped us all throughout the trip, winding along the beach lined roads alternating between excitable conversations and companionable silence

Waiting for the ferry we ate raw pickled mangoes, watched t gulls dive and fishermen sorting their catch.

The ferry ride was a perfect end to a perfect trip, watching the sun set over a skyline dotted with buildings, the breeze getting cooler and warm caresses

A cup of coffee and apple cake sealed the day and titillated our senses, stimulating us to feel what we felt all over again.

Its such a blessing to have a best friend who is as high on life as you are…who is willing to indulge your dreams and enjoy them with you becoz he has the same ones….who has no inhibitions and is willing to live life on an impulse. Who loves to go, as much as you do…. on the road less taken

2008-09-19T22:59:00.000-07:00

dont feel guilty if you dont know what you want to do with your life; most pple who we now find interesting dint know what they wanted to do with their life when they were 20; some of the most interesting 40 yr olds still dont!

2008-09-19T22:48:00.000-07:00

dont worry bout the future,worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra problem by chewing gum.
The real troubles in your life, are things that never cross your worried mind; the kind that blind sights you on some idle Tuesday

2008-09-11T05:31:00.000-07:00

the more I know, the more I know that I dont know anything

Envy

2008-09-10T02:22:00.000-07:00

I am deep in thought, walking on, when suddenly I stop to stare,

At this girl I see standing right there.

I glance her way from the corner of my eye, not wanting her to wonder why,

I have his skepticism in my eye while I stare at her in her joy

Happiness is exuding from every part of her soul, I wonder –what in life has made her so bold?

To hope of dreams and dream of hope ,

to embrace life so warmly when even the thought of it leaves me cold.

I cant believe it; I turn to stare, to look for sorrow that is her share

I probe and probe, hoping for one sign only,

Anything that will assure me she’s lonely.

Not an iota of it I see on her face she makes me feel like such a disgrace,

But still I look and still I find..her aura of love is driving me out of my mind

I give up and just look at the story she wants tell,

Of beautiful love , of the person who got her out of hell.

Her stance tells me of how easy he made it for her to just be,

to expose herself and still be free.

Her arms cherish moments when all she does is hold, and to her form, like the wind he moulds.

Her eyes talk of moment’s when passion burns,

when one captures in love and becomes a slave inturn.

Her lips part slightly and with very breath,

She thanks good for giving them a life till their death.

I blink suddenly and then I smile,

I realize, Ive been staring at myself all this while.